Aunty May

Aunty May, Godfrey and me

When you’ve lived a long life, you’re known for many things. And Emily May Butterfield had lived a very long life. But to me, she was just my Aunty May.

I remember.
I remember sitting in the garden by the rosebushes on a warm summer’s day. I remember playing in the kitchen, or baking with Aunt May. We used to make jam tarts (or I would make my own special 'creation') and she always let me eat hers. I remember her toad in the hole and her trifles. I remember the radio in the kitchen and singing “Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree”.
I remember when we went to get a dog and she let me choose. I remember ice cream vans, and Mr. Men lollies. I remember her taking me to school on my first day. I remember her quirks, the way she blew smoke rings with her Marlboroughs. I so wanted to be able to do that!I remember our chickens and budgies. I remember her comforting me after a wasp sting. I remember us laughing. I remember summertime. I remember just being with her. And most importantly for me, I remember her just being there.

I remember more than I can say, more than I can write, more than I can grieve, more than words. I remember her.

In my 20’s I got the chance to know her. I discovered more of her story; I marveled at her spirit. Feisty, passionate, selfless, grounded in lightheartedness and common sense.And quirky. I loved the way she gave up smoking in her late 80’s. I asked why she gave up after smoking all her life. Her response: “Bad for your health. It’s a filthy habit.”
May was always a pioneer, a trailblazer, a ground breaker. Who fosters a baby and preschooler when you turn 70? She did, and I’m forever grateful. Many years later, she’d introduce me to her friends at the sheltered housing saying “This is my baby!”

In 2000 she won an award for England’s "Most Inspiring Learner", having returned to education in her 90’s to learn how to properly read and write. I had no idea she didn’t know. And she’d kept Christian books and things I’d sent her years before, and now she could read them. We ended up talking about God, Jesus and everything, and praying.
Her body was inevitably declining, but her spirit was alive, her mind sharp. She decided to go on a computer course and learn how to use the internet.It was great to introduce her to Chris and show her our wedding video. It was lovely to introduce her to the girls. After all “Tia May” means, her. Its was like family generations coming together.

The last time I saw her she was so frail.She was 102. Her death is not a shock, but it’s a definite loss. Aunty May was my foster mother; she was the first 6 years of my life.

Proverbs 31:29 puts it perfectly:
"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"

Yes she did. She outclassed them all.